A Humble Proposition
It is a melancholy object for those who observe the amount of people on the streets that scour through dirty dumpsters in grimy rags, all to obtain a trifle piece of moldy cheese or cracker. Children who look just above the age of four lift their heads from a pile of garbage to glance at the wealthy, the ones who's waste the child stands in, as they stroll by. These poor people, instead of being motivated to find real work elsewhere and purchase first-hand food, find sustenance in the discarded trash of the upper-class.
I think it is agreed by all parties that this prodigious amount of citizens and food living beside, under, or inside these dumpsters is in the present deplorable state of the nation a very great additional grievance; and, therefore, whoever could find out a fair, cheap, and easy method of reducing the amount of waste produced, thereby making these citizens useful members of the commonwealth, would deserve so well of the public to have her statue set up for a preserver of the world.
But my intention isn't solely to provide for the foodless street lurkers; it is of a much greater extent and shall include the health and dignity of all citizens of America, perhaps influencing the rest of the world for generations to come.
As to my own part, having turned my thoughts for many years upon this important subject, and maturely weighed the several schemes of other projectors, I have always found them grossly mistaken in the computation. It is true that a single factory can produce thousands of items of food in just 24 hours and that the millions of factories residing in the nation do more than just that in order to satisfy the demands of all the customers. It is these demands that I propose to alter, helping these factories regulate production rates, thus the mass amount of waste the consumers are responsible for.
I shall now therefore humbly propose my own thoughts, which I hope will not be liable to the least objection.
I have been assured by a very knowing, old, and wise Russian of my acquaintance that a human being of any age can healthily survive if given a maximum food quota per day. So in one day, one person may purchase one fruit and one vegetable, two bowls of any meal, and three bottles of water and still manage to live up to 90 years. I do therefore humbly offer it to public consideration that we ration out our food in this manner.
The human stomach is only but three inches in depth, height, and width, needing to be filled no more than thrice a day, so there is no reason to enlarge it, which would enlarge the chance of becoming ill in the future. Reducing the nation's rate of illness would be one of many advantages gained if this proposition is turned to reality.
Again talking to my very knowing Russian friend, he suggested that rationing out money as well as food would do even more good for the nation. Even the poorest of the poor would have money to spend, and the concept of the rich ruling the country would be less of a reality. Waste of not only food, but clothes, plastic, property, items, etc. would be greatly reduced. But, alas! with much deference to my dear friend, it is not improbable that some scrupulous people might be apt to censure such a notion as going against the free nature of this nation; which, I confess, hath always been with me the strongest objection against any project, however so well intended.
The advantages of my proposal are obvious and many, and of high importance.
For firstly, citizens will not be wasting the thousands of tons per day of uneaten food. In fact, if calculated in precision, there may be no waste at all. Dumpster scavengers will be forced to find a job to gain food, contributing to a better national economy overall.
Secondly, grocery stores and factories will no longer over-produce, since they will know exactly how much food to make. This will greatly lessen not only the amount of food wasted by consumers, but money wasted on un-bought food. Essentially, even these companies will be making more of a profit.
Thirdly, it is a widely known issue by the entire world that America contains the most obese children and adults. This is quite an embarrassment on our part. Rationing out the food will surely cause the obese to average-out their weight, increasing their life spans by avoiding diseases such as heart failure, blood clots, and diabetes.
Fourthly, children of younger ages never finish their plates anyways, and their parents constantly scold them, declaring that they should consider the situation for children like them in Africa, so the limit on food will allow lessen their waste, thereby lessening the scolding and African allusions, thus benefiting the children-to-parent relationships. Overall, families will be happier.
I think it is agreed by all parties that this prodigious amount of citizens and food living beside, under, or inside these dumpsters is in the present deplorable state of the nation a very great additional grievance; and, therefore, whoever could find out a fair, cheap, and easy method of reducing the amount of waste produced, thereby making these citizens useful members of the commonwealth, would deserve so well of the public to have her statue set up for a preserver of the world.
But my intention isn't solely to provide for the foodless street lurkers; it is of a much greater extent and shall include the health and dignity of all citizens of America, perhaps influencing the rest of the world for generations to come.
As to my own part, having turned my thoughts for many years upon this important subject, and maturely weighed the several schemes of other projectors, I have always found them grossly mistaken in the computation. It is true that a single factory can produce thousands of items of food in just 24 hours and that the millions of factories residing in the nation do more than just that in order to satisfy the demands of all the customers. It is these demands that I propose to alter, helping these factories regulate production rates, thus the mass amount of waste the consumers are responsible for.
I shall now therefore humbly propose my own thoughts, which I hope will not be liable to the least objection.
I have been assured by a very knowing, old, and wise Russian of my acquaintance that a human being of any age can healthily survive if given a maximum food quota per day. So in one day, one person may purchase one fruit and one vegetable, two bowls of any meal, and three bottles of water and still manage to live up to 90 years. I do therefore humbly offer it to public consideration that we ration out our food in this manner.
The human stomach is only but three inches in depth, height, and width, needing to be filled no more than thrice a day, so there is no reason to enlarge it, which would enlarge the chance of becoming ill in the future. Reducing the nation's rate of illness would be one of many advantages gained if this proposition is turned to reality.
Again talking to my very knowing Russian friend, he suggested that rationing out money as well as food would do even more good for the nation. Even the poorest of the poor would have money to spend, and the concept of the rich ruling the country would be less of a reality. Waste of not only food, but clothes, plastic, property, items, etc. would be greatly reduced. But, alas! with much deference to my dear friend, it is not improbable that some scrupulous people might be apt to censure such a notion as going against the free nature of this nation; which, I confess, hath always been with me the strongest objection against any project, however so well intended.
The advantages of my proposal are obvious and many, and of high importance.
For firstly, citizens will not be wasting the thousands of tons per day of uneaten food. In fact, if calculated in precision, there may be no waste at all. Dumpster scavengers will be forced to find a job to gain food, contributing to a better national economy overall.
Secondly, grocery stores and factories will no longer over-produce, since they will know exactly how much food to make. This will greatly lessen not only the amount of food wasted by consumers, but money wasted on un-bought food. Essentially, even these companies will be making more of a profit.
Thirdly, it is a widely known issue by the entire world that America contains the most obese children and adults. This is quite an embarrassment on our part. Rationing out the food will surely cause the obese to average-out their weight, increasing their life spans by avoiding diseases such as heart failure, blood clots, and diabetes.
Fourthly, children of younger ages never finish their plates anyways, and their parents constantly scold them, declaring that they should consider the situation for children like them in Africa, so the limit on food will allow lessen their waste, thereby lessening the scolding and African allusions, thus benefiting the children-to-parent relationships. Overall, families will be happier.
Wow. I am so impressed on how you managed to incorporate both pieces into one blog especially by adapting Swift's tone which is a feat on its own. Additionally, you made your own argument.
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